spring break

****
So because of my prolonged 2012 blues, I wasn't particularly looking forward to Spring Break. But now that we're halfway in the middle of it, I am realizing how FREAKING nice it is not to have to go to class after work! Oh my god, life is so much better not having to go to class. Even though I've been stressing about my citations test and my final graded assignment that is due for my Legal Writing class, I got to do normal people stuff for the past couple of days- things like sitting on my couch after work just to catch a breath without worrying about being late to class, and cooking homemade dinners, healthy, spicy, vegetarian, just the way I like it. Here's last night's dinner, day two of my spring break. I made another salad with cilantro dressing, brown rice with black beans and fire roasted tomatoes and baked salmon with sriracha aoli. The salmon literally melted in my mouth like butter. Dinners like this make life worth living. On school nights I make lean shakes out of powder from GNC. Gag! I much prefer to cook and eat real food for dinner.



So even though I've been down about the crazy stuff, some good things have happened. I got me a new ride. A gold little mini cooper. It drives like a dream. I do miss my pretty purple Prius and the great gas mileage it gave me, but I have moved on. My little ride fits in just about any parking space and I think it really suits me.



So between the sad stories, the pain and turmoil, and the stress of school, I woke up on Tuesday and decided I want to chop all my hair off. The feeling grew stronger and stronger by mid-day and before 1pm I knew I wanted my hair gone. It was one of those feelings I just knew wasn't going to go away until it was done. So I made an appointment for that afternoon at Alley Cuts- a salon I always used to walk by on the way to work by 8th and J Street- and decided it was going to finally happen. I didn't want to go to some high-priced fancy place where they make you feel under-dressed just to get a freakin haircut. I wanted somewhere low-key but knowledgeable- just someone who knows how to do hair. I got on Yelp and researched what reviewers had to say about Alley Cuts and I decided it was perfect.

I always toyed with the idea of a pixie cut for several years now, but I never thought I had the guts to do it. I always said, maybe I'll lose ten pounds first, or oh, I'll wait until my braces come off, or some kind of excuse like that. But I always thought it would be the final step to transforming myself and being who I really am.



I don't believe in hiding behind my hair or needing long hair to feel beautiful. I always knew that I don't need my hair to feel sexy. And I was sick of always tying my hair into a ponytail day after day after day.

The girl that cut my hair was really sweet. Laurel is her name. Reviewers love her. They describe her as being this quiet, soft-spoken ninja hair-cutter who can work wonders with her haircutter tools. And I think they were spot on.



I showed her two photos- one of Natalie Portman and another of Michelle Williams- both with close cropped pixie cuts- very, very short.

 

She took my ponytail and asked, Are you ready? I nodded with excitement. Boy, was I ever. And then SNIP! Gone. No more long hair. I felt absolutely liberated.

As she quietly began shaping my head, I just sat and stared. I couldn't believe how good I felt. I thought I would instantly regret it or start crying. But I didn't. I really did feel great.

Here is the end result:

     
I feel like a new person, and it was just what I needed to get back on stride with my life.

***
I was originally thinking about getting a buzz cut, but I thought it might be too hardcore for work. But now that I know that I am comfortable with short hair, I'll think about getting that buzz cut. I want it shorter than it is now. I want it super cropped and close to my head, none of this puffy, fro business.



****
I will be getting together with my study buddy for the rest of the week and finishing my outlines and getting caught up on all the reading and teach myself Contracts because my professor doesn't know how to teach me a damn thing. And then on Sunday I will be driving down to help my brother move into his new apartment in SF. That will be fun!

And then I have a horrid citations test next Tuesday, and then I have a month to study for finals. And then summer school starts. I see no light at the end of this tunnel, but at least some of the disasters have ceased to explode in my face for the time being. And we recently saw pictures of my grandma and although she is old and dying, seeing her pictures made me happy and gave me renewed inspiration to go see her this summer, after all my stupid classes are done. I have a month off before Fall semester starts, so perhaps I will take advantage of that time to go see her for one last time before she leaves us. It will be a trip worth making, to see her and touch her again, even if it's to say goodbye.

****
Lastly, I am anxiously looking forward to the warm weather. I miss feeling the sun on my skin.